Pay attention to the truth behind your child’s 12 expressions
Children have many expressions: beating people, biting people; crying; coquettish; shy; shy and so on. Each expression has a different reason behind adults, let us unlock all the passwords.
Expression one, beating, biting children always like beating, there are certain reasons for biting!
Reason 1: Maybe the child’s sense of security is not well established.
So as soon as a child comes to him, he will feel threatened, and then take the initiative to attack.
Method: Moms should help their children build a sense of security and help their children make good friends.
During that time I was thinking about it, and then I started to act.
Such as making ice cream, boiled edamame, peanuts, and fruit, etc. are divided into several portions, and bring the children to the children’s home, and if there is something delicious, also called to eat together at home, or take it to others.
Reciprocity, others will think of us deliciously.
As the relationship gets closer, the child feels better and better.
Change: No more beatings. Every time I go out, I have to knock on the door of other people. I want to meet the children.
Have a delicious share, and said: He is my good friend.
Reason 2: Hit means exclusion.
Sometimes he wants to do things according to his own ideas, but the children always do things he doesn’t like, and he wants to exclude this fact.
Example: He takes a small bowl and uses soil to cook.
The child came and put soil in his bowl, but he didn’t want to, because it ruined his own plans and goals.
He yelled at the children, but others didn’t listen. He yelled a few times and found that it didn’t work, he would hit people.
There was nothing wrong with his thinking, but he didn’t want to be disturbed.
But his move was bad.
Sometimes when I want to eat popsicles or do other things, if the parent refuses to do it, he will also use a fight to solve it, but just want to exclude the fact that the parent does not let him do things.
So I think more often, children beat people to exclude them.
It’s the same for adults, too, Le Da doesn’t listen to me, and I hit him.
If you can’t say it, just hit it.
In reflection, adults and children are alike.
Solution: Strengthen the ability to use language to solve problems.
Teach him to use words to express ideas with others.
‘Tell him then that beating can’t solve the problem, beating is bad behavior.
Of course, it takes a process to reach full verbal expression, and the mother has to wait patiently for his mind to grow to this extent.
Reason 3: Family members may be beating (or playing with their children as a spat).
Children will add all the costs to others.
Method: Parents should review whether they have such behaviors and if necessary, correct them immediately.
Feelings: Actually, if a child hits someone, he won’t hit it at all. If someone hits his own child, it’s nothing.
If he hits someone, the parent will always say that his child is wrong.
My idea is: when he hits someone, analyze the reason in time according to the situation at the time, and then tell him how to use language to solve it.
Tell him that beating is brutal (Kindergarten always says so, so I want the same home).
Then tell his mother to love him (so that he doesn’t have the trouble of doing something wrong and not be bothered by love).
In this way, he knew not only that he was wrong, but also how to solve it next time, and that his mother loved him at all times.The child feels surrounded by love and he will develop in a better direction.
In any case, the mother should adhere to a principle that must let the child know that the mother loves him, he will always be a good boy, right thing is wrong, wrong behavior for a while, can not say that the child is bad.
Sometimes the child is not happy, and may be angry with his mother, I feel quite normal.
Because the mother is his closest person, it is normal to vent the internal pressure with the closest person. After the vent, the child will better adjust his state and love the mother more.
Sometimes it ‘s like this, I would say: Give me a piggyback!
It is enough to give him a positive hint.
After understanding the child, he is still very young, and his mind has not grown to the point where he can solve all problems by himself.
Then he said aloud to him every day: Mom loves him!
Or claim lightly in your ears: “Mom tells you a secret,‘ I like you!
‘The child ‘s mood will soon be bright and sunny.
Sometimes he does something bad, such as putting his feet on the dinner table. The more you say no, the more he grins and does it. Sometimes I rush to ask him: Do you think I love you enough?
He said yes.
I said: From now on, I love you more.
He got his rules right away.
So sometimes I feel that yelling at a child can’t solve the problem well. The best way is to let him know that his mother loves him.
Expression two: Interjection The child interrupts the personality of others. This is caused by their age characteristics. It generally appears in the following situations: 1. The child is curious about some of the content in the speech and can’t wait to solve the “question” in his heart.
2. What others have talked about or discussed. The child has heard or seems to understand something, and has “resonance”, excitement, eagerness to “express” himself, and talk about his “views”.
3. The child is having trouble playing alone or trying to do something by himself. At this time, he is eager to ask for help, and may break the personality of others regardless of the occasion.
This kind of behavior of the child can not be left alone, but also pay attention to handling methods.
Parents should pay attention to the following points: 1. “According to circumstances”.
That is, according to different situations, adopt appropriate and appropriate methods and methods to incorporate guidance.
When a child questions an adult’s personal content, or encounters difficulties when asking for help, don’t be annoyed when the other person’s face-to-face training rejects the child, otherwise the child’s “curiosity” and “self-esteem” will be hurt.
Parents can explain to the child, answer after personality, and praise him again: “You really love to use your brain!
“This child will understand.
But after the fact, you must keep your promise and educate your child not to interrupt casually when others are different, and tell him that it is impolite.
If the content that the adult talks about in the chat makes the child “resonate”
, because the child is anxious to express their opinions and interrupt the personality of others, the parent does not prevent the child from giving a chance to “represent”
, solicit the person you talk to firstComments, then get your child involved.
However, after talking, you should euphemistically point out that it is wrong for the child to just casually interject.
In this way, the child is more likely to accept your criticism, because the child’s “appetite” is satisfied.
2. “Camera Induction”.
That is to say, parents should take advantage of all opportunities that can educate their children, inspire and induce their children, and pay special attention to using things that happen to their children to educate their children so that their children will be inspired and improved.
For example, mom and dad take their child to the street and see that other children are being criticized in the middle of their parents talking to others, and then they can ask their children: “Is that child doing right?
do you like him?
“Let your child be educated.
3. “Teach Yourself Through Words”.
That is, as a parent, you must pay attention to your words and deeds, especially the “deeds”. This is very important for the child.
Children’s imitative tendencies and lack of discrimination, parents should set an example of polite interaction.
Look three, lie. Listen to me. There are three televisions in our house.
“One is for dad, one is for brother, and one is for mine.””” Then you can see the leaders every night.
As soon as you finish eating, you can always see going to bed.
“” How beautiful you are!
“When the child’s lie was exposed, he was rejected by his mother.
Mom blamed him for “Lying is the beginning of being a thief.
Psychological analysis of children: Children simply do not understand the necessary connection between lying and thieves.
For children, it is better to say that there is no connection between the two.
What exactly does the phrase “three televisions” mean?
Words cannot be understood solely from the surface meaning. What’s more important is to understand their true meaning correctly.
The child who said this said at the time was hoping, “How nice it would be if there were three televisions in my house!
“If there are three TV sets, my father will not occupy the TV set because he wants to watch a night baseball game; my brother will not monopolize the TV set because he likes football matches; of course I can watch my own placeLike watching this!
He linked this wish with the imagination, so he adopted the language expression of “There are three televisions”.
The psychological structure of young children is often a combination of subjective and objective. This phenomenon is called “subjective and objective undifferentiated psychology” and is a characteristic of young children’s psychology.
Mom’s tricks: There are many types of children’s “liars”, including imagination, wish lie, ignorance lie, game lie, excuse lie, convenient lie, friendship lie, seduced lie, revenge lie, and deceit lie, etc.
Most of the lie of young children comes from imagination, desires, games and ignorance, occasionally from justification or compelling.
Neither of these is a true lie, let alone a serious thief.
If you don’t fully understand this, you can’t talk about the correct method.
We should recognize the children’s psychology hidden behind the lies, and adopt methods that are consistent with their mental states.
For example, when you hear your child say “I have three televisions in my house”, you should continue to say, “Oh, right!”
“To understand the child’s wishes and mood, and then say,” Really, how good it would be if there were three televisions! ”
“Fourth expression, the jealousy of worrying about jealous children is an uneasy, painful, or resentful feeling for children who are better or better than their own in intelligence, reputation, ranking, achievement, and other conditions.
Children may be jealous in various manifestations, mainly in the following ways: 1. Do not allow parents to be close to or love other children.
2. When other children have achieved success, made progress in their studies, or been praised by the teacher, they consider themselves not worse than him, unconvinced, vilified, ironic, and replaced other children.
3, other children dress better than themselves, or have more toys, or more friends, hit, mock, alienate, or even resent.
4. Other children do not satisfy their own desires, they will have opposite emotions, or resentment, or use other forms of compensation and replacement. If other children do not borrow watercolor pens for him, he will show off his toys to other children,Don’t lend the child a play to get involved in overwhelming each other.
Then, as long as the fear of children is well educated and guided, they can turn stress into motivation, motivate children to work hard, develop a healthy character and good morals.
On the contrary, if it is not well guided, it will affect healthy growth.
For children who are jealous, parents should adopt psychological counseling and supplement it with ideological education to eliminate them.
1, strict requirements for children.
Encourage children to be diligent, practical, aggressive, and helpful; correct impetuous behaviors that harm others, and educate them to cultivate good moral qualities.
2. Give praise to your child’s retina.
It is necessary to seek truth from facts and make children acknowledge that they have the success of their surroundings, with contributions and help from partners around them, rather than arrogance and vanity; at the same time, children need to see their shortcomings to prevent children from being complacent and overestimatingI despise other children.
3, motivate children to turn jealousy into a competitive consciousness, so that children can catch up with, adjust their behavior in the advanced state, and enhance the ability to adapt to the social environment, so that pressure is transformed into motivation, beyond jealousy.
4. Teach your children to be honest with others.
It is necessary to educate children to be open-minded and not to worry about it; learn to be in the place, compare the heart, understand the small partners, communicate and communicate feelings, and strengthen the atmosphere of unity and progress with the small partners.
Look five, cry “Wow . wow .” “Okay, okay, don’t cry.
“Wow . wow .” “Don’t cry, there’s nothing to cry, you say!”
But you are still a boy.”Wow . wow .” The mother tried desperately to keep the child from crying, but the child grew more and more crying.
The mother believes that the child should stop crying first, and all problems should be said after stopping crying.
But the more wronged the child is, the crying and crying just can’t stop.
Psychological analysis of children: The crying behavior is a result, the result of the superficiality of certain problems.
Since the behavior of crying is manifested, there must be some kind of “feeling” in the heart.
Focusing on this aspect is the key to solving the problem.
For example, sometimes sad feelings are at work, sometimes crying because of loneliness, or feeling pain or heat.
Especially crying children, crying is basically because they want parents to comfort themselves, sympathize with themselves and other dependence on psychology.
In addition, crying children are timid children. When they encounter bullying of a child, do not play with him, do not adapt to friends or collective life, they will cry.
In short, no matter what the circumstances, don’t forget the crying child, most of the time in order to hope that parents understand their feelings.
Therefore, just persuading him to stop crying without solving the emotional problems in his heart can’t stop crying.
Mom’s trick: When a child is crying, don’t just say, “Don’t cry.
“The first thing you should care about is to understand why he is crying, the reason and mood of crying.
Then, for the child’s sadness or anger, in a word, express sympathy, understanding to the child’s feelings at that time, and convey this information to the child, so that the child’s feelings are passed back.
Remember not to criticize the principle, and ignore the child’s feelings.
You accept the child’s feelings, the child feels relieved, and as a result, even stops crying, and the crying problem will gradually be overcome.
Expression six, repetition. I found that my five-year-old child has a strange feature recently: when watching cartoons and picture books, I especially like repetition.
That is to say, I have taken the trouble to read heart disease and picture books over and over again, but I am not very interested in new, unwatched ones.
Is this normal?
Why does this happen?
Child psychoanalysis: The parent’s observation of the child is very careful.
The phenomenon of four or five-year-old children who like to repeatedly read the same representative and picture book is not isolated, and a considerable number of children show this feature to varying degrees.
There are two main reasons why children have this situation: one is the reason for personality.
In the attitude towards things, it can show the different characteristics of human personality, the personality of children is being formed and developed, and this difference in personality will also be manifested to a certain extent.
Like to read the same cutting-edge and picture book repeatedly is just a reflection of a part of children who like things that they are familiar with and like to repeat.
The second reason is the level of psychological development.
Because the development of young children’s cognitive ability, imagination and memory is still imperfect, it is impossible to accept a large amount of information like an adult.
In this way, if the child reads different and imitated books every time, he will not remember and cannot accept it, and repeating it again and again can avoid this phenomenon, allowing the child to test his own memory andExpect a sense of accomplishment.
First of all, through the improvement of children’s psychological level, this phenomenon will gradually disappear.
Therefore, it is not unusual for children to like to read the same tip and picture book repeatedly, and generally it is not harmful.
If the extent of this phenomenon is very serious, parents can guide appropriately.
Expression seven. My daughter is particularly fond of coquetry. The old man at home said: How can children not coquettish?
Just be big; but my sister warns me from time to time: excessive coquetry is willful and must be corrected.
Who should I listen to?
Psychological analysis of children: Both statements make sense, and specific situations should be treated differently.
The first thing to be a parent is to learn to distinguish the coquettishness of your child.
For example, when a child is sick and uncomfortable, it is easy to be coquettish; infants and young children will be coquettish after lunch and at night; disturbing the child’s daily habits may cause the child to be noisy and coquettish; the child is in an unfamiliar environment because he is unfamiliarPsychological unhappiness caused by the environment will also coquettish.
In addition, experts believe that children also have changes in their circadian rhythms. It is also easy to coquettish when the child’s mood is low and his mood is uncomfortable.
These coquetts are inevitable and normal. They are a form of parent-child emotional communication that parents should understand and give comfort to.
But for those children who deliberately lose their temper because of disobedience and unreasonable reason, parents cannot let it go, let everything go, and follow everything, otherwise they will develop a willful and overbearing character. Eight expressions. Unsuitable parents are afraid that their children will go out to cause trouble. They always keep their children at home. Many reasons have caused the children to be “unsuitable”. Psychological analysis of children: 1. The baby is afraid of being born.
Always stay outside the same age group, gloomy, lonely and silent.
These babies are often reluctant to go to nursery or kindergarten, often angry with their parents.
2. The child is self-centered. As long as everyone does not do what they think, they will be unhappy.
3, due to some shortcomings in the child.
For example, for troubles, curses, etc., children are not welcome to join the game team.
4, frail children are not willing to participate in group games and activities.
For them, first of all, they need to strengthen their physique, seek a doctor to treat them, and restore their children’s physical strength.
With a strong physique, your child will change the cowardly, cowardly habit of shrinking at home and not dare to play with children.
5. It is not surprising that children with mental retardation are always willing to play with children younger than themselves.
If an adult insists that he play with children of the same age, because his intelligence cannot keep up, he will inevitably be bullied and excluded by his friends, which will cause the child to be irritable, rude, have a sense of inferiority, and receive the opposite effect.
6, quirky children do not want to play with friends.
They are generally not easy to change in the short term.
For them, parents must have patience, persist in exchanging feelings with their children, strive to understand their children, and seek counseling from psychologists and psychiatrists to correct their children’s weird personality.
7, living in the building, there are no children of the same age above and below this unit.
8. Adults are afraid to make mistakes in the house and prevent children from taking classmates to play at home.
9, worry about something, no one will let the children go.
10, the child is not constant, playing with other children for a while will be annoying.
11. I don’t like to talk to my classmates, I always immerse myself in reading.
12, not honest, either teasing this or overthrowing it, and no one wants to play with him.
Parents can encourage their children to interact with their peers.
Adults should not be near their children, nor should they tell them too much. Even children’s quarrels, crying, etc. should be handled by themselves. Parents should not interfere.
Let children make friends.
Socialize with all types of children, never neighbours or relatives.
Helps change your child’s dependence.
Let the children dress and eat by themselves, take a bath in the summer, sleep alone, get up by themselves, decide their own activities, etc.
If your child can’t live without her mother for a while, you can put them in a relative’s house and let them adjust to the life of leaving their mother.
With nine expressions and touching the genitals for more than 2 years, Haohao started to play with his genitals from time to time. His grandparents brought him up from a young age and thought, boys, it ‘s all the same, just like nature.
Sometimes Grandpa even amuses gradually in public.
After going to kindergarten more than 3 years old, the teacher gradually discovered his problem, which only caused his parents to realize it, but it seemed too late, patiently persuaded, criticized education, and even slapped “waiting”, both hard and softHowever, Haohao just turned the original public behavior underground.
Play in a nobody’s place during the day and hide in the bed before going to bed at night or wake up in the morning.
What’s worse is that Grandpa still doesn’t take it seriously at this time, sometimes his parents educate the mighty, and Grandpa doesn’t have his own umbrella.
Psychological analysis of children: The process of children’s growth is a process of constantly exploring the outside world and their own world. Therefore, children’s exploration of sex is part of their exploration of the unknown world.
In theory, in July and July, Haohao’s small hand should occasionally touch his genitals, but at this time, he touched his eyes and ears, and he was completely unconsciously exploring.
Such explorations slowly started to be driven by curiosity, but still driven by infinite libido and sexual fantasies; they only produced sensory pleasing reactions without causing complex emotional reactions.
However, the spirit of exploration is worthy of recognition, we still have the responsibility to guide children to choose the appropriate way.
Especially if the child’s playing genitals has affected daily activities, it is no longer a trivial matter, and parents need to take appropriate measures to correct as soon as possible.
Expression ten, stubbornness In real life, most parents face such a problem: cute and obedient babies gradually become stubborn and not obedient; sometimes you make him east, he is westward, with a kind of abuse.
According to this, parents have adopted methods such as beating, punishing, coaxing, and material seduction, but the effect is only reflected in one moment, and to a certain extent has not yet appeared.
So, can we deal with such problems by using normative behaviors and adopting feasible communication methods?It is necessary to know the following points: Child psychoanalysis: We know that consciousness is determined by matter, and human consciousness is the reflection of the human brain on the specific material living environment.
From child to infant, the brain begins to have a large movement process. In other words, the child starts to use the independence and creation of his own thinking to look at the world. This is what is often called childlike innocence.
Adults think that children are stubborn. On the contrary, in the eyes of children, parents may be stubborn. The key is understanding, communication, and guidance.
Parents and children need to get along with each other in equal divisions, in a way that children can accept, and place the right and wrong in a gradual and orderly manner.
For example, letting a 4-year-old child write very beautifully, he must be worried about not writing well, because he doesn’t think this ability, so he will refuse, and then be beaten or even punished by parents, he will start withHis perseverance showed resistance.
Through this example, it should be understood that the child’s enthusiasm and disobedience are only a superficial phenomenon, with fear, shyness, lack of self-confidence, fear of frustration and so on hidden behind it.
Therefore, when your child is unruly, you should recognize the reason, pay attention to communication, and guide correctly.
To restrain one’s emotions, not to be angry, punish children, not to beat children, because this impatient and authoritarian approach will make them even more offensive, adult bondage, suppression, make children feel embarrassed, threatened, theyWill be more persistent.
Research in social psychology has shown that when adults and children interact in a democratic way and can exchange opinions, it is very beneficial to the cultivation of children’s independence. In a restrained atmosphere, it is difficult to cultivate creative talents.
Expression eleven, lose your temper. We often see this scene in front of the toy counter in the store: When the child asks his parents to buy related toys, the parents will not get angry, and the child will lose his temper and make a lot of noise, even lying on the floor and rolling.
Parents who are afraid of losing face quickly intervene in the child’s desire to stop the child from making noise.
Psychological analysis of children: Children may feel that as long as I lose my temper and make a noise in front of others, my parents will satisfy my wishes.
Therefore, whenever the child has a new desire, and the parent does not agree, the child loses his temper, and finally the parent has to submit.
Over time, children become more and more intrusive, their tempers get bigger and bigger, and people become more unwilling and rude.
At the same time, when he could walk, the child’s desire to “do everything by himself” began to sprout.
For example, if you want to eat yourself while eating, you wo n’t use spoons, and you will spill more than you eat. As a result, you will eat with your hands.
However, in order to cultivate the spontaneity of the child, do not stop him even if this is the case.
Children who begin to show spontaneity often want to do something beyond their power, and once they do not do well, they lose their temper, either yelling, rolling down on the ground, or throwing things around.
For mothers, this is a very nerve-wracking period. Therefore, when children want to do what they do on their own, the mother is likely to refuse to say, “No.
“However, the child’s desire to do it on its own is a manifestation of its desire to grow.
Therefore, mothers need to understand that this is the case for children around 1 year old, and let them try to do it when they want to do it themselves.
Also, when children are noisy and noisy because they cannot reach their imagination, adults have to deal with the past casually.
Losing temper is a phenomenon that occurs around the age of one. If you don’t like it, you will cry, lame, and roll.
This kind of “moving anger” is not necessarily facing others, but sometimes it is directed at yourself.
I want others to be “that way” and I want to be “this way”-these desires are too strong, but the reality can not be satisfied. At this time, the child’s naive heart is flustered and emotionally unstable.
When I want to sleep, I’m hungry, and I feel tired, even a small thing can cause a child to lose his temper.
When the child loses his temper, the parents should hug him silently, or watch him calmly, waiting for the child to calm down.
There is no other way.
This grumpy period is a necessary stage in the growth of children, and moms and dads need to understand this.
Don’t think that the child is “bad”, blame it, reprimand him.
Expression twelve, children who have been stealing too much have had behaviors of holding sheep and stealing things.
Faced with this kind of behavior from their children, the measures taken by parents are often insults and abuses with little effect.
In fact, it is not advisable to overreact to children’s stealing behaviors and “palliate and commit adultery.”
So how do you help your child get rid of this bad problem?
Psychological analysis of children: Because children of different ages have different reasons for stealing things, the teaching methods must also vary from person to person.
The kindergarten child is likely to take things because he does n’t know, and without these things, he has to spend money to buy them. He does n’t know how to pay, and it ‘s wrong to just take things without saying hello.
They have not clearly distinguished the concepts of “own” and “non-own”, and the concept of morality has not yet been fully formed. It is only a “fetish” in the original meaning, so when parents find that he steals things, do not give themMore blame.
Taking at this time is not really “stealing.”
But it is wrong for an adult to help him fall into theft through this incident.
Tell him: “If you take things away without your consent or payment, you will cause damage to others and others will be very sad.”If the child quietly brings out candy from the supermarket, the parents will take the child back with the candy.
If he has eaten the candy, be sure to take the child to the supermarket, ask him to apologize to the owner, and pay him back the money.
When you take him to the supermarket again, pay more attention to his behavior and see if he puts his favorite things in his pocket again.
When paying, he said to him, “Everything has a price. Only when the mother gives the money to the receiving aunt, can she take it away, and these things can belong to us.
“Let your baby pay attention to the details of your payment.
You can also ask your baby to pick up a small item, and let the baby pay for it before the cashier’s counter, so as to deepen the impression that the baby wants to pay for something.
The children often turned away from the clouds as soon as their parents asked.
They may make the same mistake next time.
At this time, the parent’s yelling and scolding are not the solution to the problem. The parent must repeatedly explain to the baby and let him understand the danger of this kind of thing, and then he will gradually improve.
If the baby is doing well, parents can give him a small star in the room to show praise and encouragement.