Where is the lethality of worry?

Where is the lethality of worry?

What are the worst consequences?

When this consequence comes, can I face it?

Can I take responsibility for it?

Here are a few important questions we need to ask ourselves when we are worried.

  Carnegie mentioned the story of an oil trader in his book: I am the owner of an oil company, and some freight forwarders secretly withheld the amount of oil given to customers and sold it to others, but I did not know it.

One day, an inspector from the government came to me and told me that he had the evidence that my employees were selling illegal oil and wanted to report us.

But if we bribe him and give him a little money, he will let us go.

I’m very upset about his behavior and attitude.

It caused me to think that this was a problem for employees who stole oil, and it had nothing to do with me.

However, statutory and legal provisions state that “the company should be responsible for the actions of its employees.”

In addition, if the case goes to court, there will be media to hype the news, and reputation will ruin our business.

I was so worried that I became sick and couldn’t sleep for three days and three nights. What should I do?

How about giving that person?

Still ignore him, what can he do?

  I couldn’t decide. I was worried every day, so I asked myself: What would be the worst consequences if I didn’t pay?

The answer is: my company will collapse and my career will be ruined, but I will not be locked up.

and then?

I may be looking for a job, but it’s not bad.

Some companies may be willing to hire me because I know oil well.

At this point, it is very interesting that my worries have begun to diminish, and then I can start thinking, and I have also begun to think of a solution: Is there any other way than to sue or give him money?

Look for a lawyer, he may have a better idea.

  The next day, I went to see a lawyer.

I fell asleep that night.

After a few days, my lawyer called me to see the local prosecutor and told him the whole situation.

The accident happened, and when I finished, the prosecutor said, I know it, the person who claimed to be a government inspector was a wanted criminal.

The big rock in my heart fell down.

This experience has made me unforgettable.

So far, whenever I start worrying, I use this experience to help myself jump out of worry.

  Yes, what are the worst consequences?

When this consequence comes, can I face it?
Can I take responsibility for it?
Here are a few important questions we need to ask ourselves when we are worried.

  In June, I gave a “stress adjustment” lecture to a group of students, parents and teachers who were about to enter the college entrance examination. I asked them: “If I (my child, my student) did not get the college entrance examination, what would be the worst consequences?
“I remember very clearly that a male student replied,” I will take another test next year.

“His tense bladder relaxed suddenly.

  I asked him again: “If the re-examination next year is also such a result, can you face it?

He looked at me and said, “Yes, I will make a new plan, see where the failure is, sum up experience, and believe that there will be good results.”

“His black man started to smile a little.  I asked him again: “So what is your concern now?

He replied, “My math is not good, and I am worried that it will drag down my score.

I spend a lot of time doing math problems, but I can’t always improve.

Because the foundation is not good, the more I worry about it, the more I think about it, and the more time I spend doing it, it becomes a vicious circle.

“” Which part of your mathematics bothers you the most?

“I asked him.

“I’m not sure. It’s not good anyway.

“You mean your math is not good at all, and your stress comes from math?”

“I asked him.

“I asked again,” How many days are there before the college entrance examination?

“” 17 days.

I said, “Are you fully prepared?

He frowned and answered, “No, English words need more recitations, and they are often forgotten.”

There are other subjects . “I asked,” There are only 17 days left. You said that in the face of this situation, what do you think you should do?

He said, “I think I should put aside math and grasp subjects that I can grasp.

“His eyes began to glow, and his smile appeared again in the uniform.

  The reason why people are worried or afraid is because in the subconscious we all yearn for a free and carefree life, and we are facing or possibly overcoming possible events (of course, negative).The lack of confidence in the consequences of the event, the underlying unconfidence causes some confusion in our thoughts, behaviors and emotions, and the muscles tremble involuntarily.

In this case, we can hardly concentrate, lose control of our emotions, and have severe memory loss. If this situation is not improved, it will cause our indigestion, stomach ulcers, headache, weakened immune system, and insomnia if it is not maintained for a long time, Breathing is not smooth, fatigue . It completely means that these symptoms are caused by “unclear” situations, such as the example of the college entrance examination, many people just worry about the college entrance examination, but never really face itI found out what the real “root” is, but I was afraid that I could not pass it.

As a result, I don’t know its “root”, so I can’t handle and resolve this worry and fear.

My conversation with that male student earlier showed this.

  Fear. If it is general, it will not only cause uncomfortable pain, but also paralyze people.

  Carnegie acknowledges that there are three basic principles for fear and anxiety: first, to clarify the facts; second, to analyze the facts; and third, to lead to a decision.

I think these three principles are very important.

Therefore, to reduce worry and fear, we must first know the facts clearly.

Here are some specific steps I have summarized: Step 1: Assess one. What am I afraid of?

(Or what am I worried about?

) Second, why am I afraid?

(Or why are you worried?

) To do a straightforward exploration of these, the more specific the better, it is best to take out a pen and paper and write it down clearly, the problem will be clear, only thinking with your head is not enough.

  Step 2: Understand one, even if the thing I’m afraid of really happened, or the worst result happened.

Is it really that scary?

  Second, do others experience similar experiences?

Are they finished?

Third, if it did happen, would I be unable to survive later?

  Assessing and understanding are two important steps to dispel worries, because only by facing the worst possible consequences can we calmly face the present.

One of my favorite words is: “It’s just that a person dies, even a behead is not a big bowl scar. Twenty years later, he is a good man.

“Don’t be afraid of death, what else are you worried about?

People need to see through and see through before they can let go. Only by letting go of their desires can they be confident.

Master Xingyun once said such a sentence: “People who see through are full of vitality.Seeing people are contradictions everywhere.

“In fact, it is to help people” put down. ”

  After assessing and understanding your concerns, the next step is to face the issues at hand.

  Step 3: Evaluate the current situation again. What is the real problem now?

(For example, what is the real problem in the face of college entrance examination failure?

The problem with the previous example is that mathematics is not good, so you will worry about the failure of the college entrance examination.

) Second, what is the cause of the problem?

(What is the reason for bad mathematics?

Is some part of math bad?

Or something else?

The previous example is bad for mathematics.

) Third, what are the solutions?

(Strengthen mathematics again, please tutor .) Fourth, I decided to use the following methods?

(Please tutor) Five, when do you start?

(Start tomorrow) The fourth step: The effectiveness of the method is to understand whether the method is helpful. If not, change it immediately.

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